I’ve been noticeable absent from the blog world. I wish that I would be more sorry, but I’m not. It’s just that I haven’t had much to say. Stuff has happened. I got my wisdom teeth out, an ordeal I’m glad to have done and over with. The busyness of the season is setting in and I’m doing my best to take deep breaths and not freak out.
One thing I do want to mention is something I realized this past week. Have you ever just been living life and then pause for a second and realize you aren’t all that happy? And not that things aren’t good in my life right now, but in my spirit and heart I just haven’t been that happy. I had a conversation with a co-worker that was really good. I ended up crying (surprise surprise) and on the way home I turned on some worship music and of course the perfect songs played in succession.
All the songs dealt in someway or another with the aspect of being dry and asking God to come and bring life. I cried the whole way home and sat down and for the first time in awhile I spilled before the Lord. Confessing how I had let my heart grow so cold, how I’ve allowed myself to become cynical (more than usual) and how I just didn’t care about much.
And you know what’s amazing? God knows, and yet he isn’t distraught by it. He began to show me some of what is really going on. Which honestly is a lot of discontentment and uncertainty. In all of my searching I’ve missed searching for the One that holds the answer.
Here’s to finding Truth and myself in the midst.
“Also at that time, people will say, ‘Look at what’s happened! This is our God! We waited for him and he showed up and saved us! This God, the one we waited for.’ “
-Isaiah 25:9 (Message)